Coming Home

Dear Family and Friends,

Well, I have to admit I feel a little silly and dramatic but my heart is hurting just a little bit right now and I my eyes are tearing up....I am trying to act normal, but I feel sad this has to end. I've got to keep it together so the other Sisters don't see me over here crying..haha...

Don't get me wrong. I am excited to see family and turn a new chapter, but it doesn't mean it's an easy page turn. I would say the feelings in my heart are "heart wrenching". Once again I got a very minimum amount of sleep last night. I do have faith. It is not fear that is in my heart....but who ever said faith and anxiety couldn't coexist? :)

Yesterday I had the opportunity to take a group of Sisters around from the MTC  that will be coming to temple square on June 12th. They do this with all Visitor Center Sisters so they can have an opportunity to see how a Visitor Center works. Anyways, I tried not to overwhelm them with every ounce of knowledge and experience that I have gained on my mission for fear of drowning them. But it was a good opportunity to help these sisters get a solid foot planted before they get here.

While moving from one location to another one of the Sisters asked me, "So what is your favorite part about missionary work?".....It seems like a common question but I actually hadn't really answered that question very often.  My response was, "Helping someone feel happy."  I went further to explain that it is via the gospel that happiness is brought.  I told her, "Honestly, if I can help every person I come in contact with feel a little bit happier then I have done what God has asked of me."  A missionary's purpose (and really all disciples of Jesus Christ) is to invite others to come unto Christ by helping them receive the restored gospel through faith in Jesus Christ and his atonement through repentance, baptism, receiving the Gift of the Holy Ghost and enduring to the end. It is this that brings true happiness. As I have been thinking about my response to that Sister yesterday, my purpose really will not be any different after the mission. Honestly if I can go through everyday helping someone feel happy and helping someone see that they are important and loved then I am keeping an eye single to our Heavenly Father's glory.

I want to share a little (well...it was big for me) experience I had the other night. I couldn't sleep, once again....and so I got out of bed and went out to the dark living room to have an experience with prayer. I told our Father of the anxieties I was having upon returning home. I told him of the doubts I had in myself and of my fear of being able to sustain relationships and friendships with people, my desires to stay faithful.....and then I had something happen that is uncommon for me. I usually always receive answers by means of other people, but this night a message came to me in my mind, and it was via the Holy Ghost.  He said, "I promise you Janet, that as you read the Book of Mormon daily I will keep you safe from Satan's temptations". I know that God is aware of all his children. Not just me. This promise is not just given to little ol' Jan but all his children. This gave me the faith to endure. I know as William Clayton knew that "All is Well! All is Well!"....I am grateful to know of my Father and it is my desire to do his will. This letter is getting lengthy but I am seizing this opportune moment to get my feelings off my chest:)

This week we have accepted as many tours as possible. It's a little different than another mission. In another mission I could pack my day full so I could feel like the hardest working missionary in the world. But here we can only take the tours that come our way. Luckily we have had a lot to keep us busy and plus there is always someone to contact. It's sometimes hard to see people feel the spirit and accept to learn more and then you never hear them again because they won't pick up their phone! We just turn it over to the Lord. It has been fun to be a missionary...I love it.  I don't think this is the end for me. I feel I will be training other missionaries one way or another throughout the rest of my life.

This week I have tried to use my music talents a lot.  I think I have sang in at least 1 tour a day:) It is a fast way to bring the spirit.

Sweet Sister Ordonez is doing well! I love her! I have been so blessed to have her by my side! I learn from her and she has yet to speak a harsh word to me.

I am excited to be with family for a few days this next week, but I do ask for your prayers as I move up to Provo just 4 days upon returning and living alone in a place where I know nothing:)....

I love my Savior and He is why I am who I am. I am nothing without Him. He is my Best friend and he will be my companion forever! There's no transfer there! :)

Hope you are doing Well!

HURRAH FOR ISRAEL!

--Cheerfully do...then stand still

-Sister Reynders